May 30
Comedy Bits that would Fail
Saturday, May 30, 2009 @ 10:24 am by Josh Burcham
Did you know that kids born in 1991 are graduating from High School and heading off to college?! I didn’t realize that until yesterday and I felt old. I brought it up last night at poker and we came up with a list of topics that wouldn’t be funny with you were perfroming a comedy rutine in front of this age group. They would have no idea what you were talking about and they are all 90′s based. Make me feel real old. Here is the list:
Hooked on Phonics – When I was in 6th grade my mom called the 1-800-ABCDEFG and ordered me up a copy. That wasn’t the worst part. She also made me read the cards into a recorder so I knew how I sounded when I read. Now years later, I’m pretty sure I’m Dyslexic.”Hooked on Phonics worked for me!” That is not true. http://www.twitpic.com/69kw7
Napster – When it used to be “the place” to get your free music, until the industry took them out. I wasn’t ever a Napster user, probably one fo the few. It’s a paid site now.
Pogs and Slammers – Any good respecting 90′s kids had a worshiped their pogs and convited the ones their friends had. I miss pogs! It was the only way my mom could get us to karate, because there was a store that sold pogs next door. And they charged $1 for 4 pogs. What a racet! http://www.twitpic.com/69li9
Nintendo 64′s Golden Eye – Now this was a game. Apparently, a buddy of mine has it still. I’m feeling a Golden Eye party! http://www.twitpic.com/69m92
Renting a PlayStation from Blockbuster – The orginal PlayStation, you know the gray one. Not sure if Blockbuster still does this, probably not since nobody even rents moves from them anymore. But in South Dakota we did this all the time, to just play Twisted Metal! I still love that game.
1-800-C-O-L-L-E-C-T – Do you know anyone that still calls collect, unless of course they are in prision. I used it all the time to call my dad. “Will you recieve a collect call from . . . . Josh Burcham . . . if yes press 1.” That was before you had to talk back to the computer that never understands what you are saying!
EXO-Squad – This is probably more for me, but my brother, Kris and I were crazy into these growing up. For the longest time I couldn’t remember what they were called. John knew right off the top of his head! I want one again! http://www.twitpic.com/69na6
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers – I don’t care who you are, if you are a child of the 90′s you were a closet Power Rangers fan! Everyday at 4 o’clock you were in front of your TV watching the show. And it played out the same way every time: monster shows up, rangers fight monster, monster grows, power rangers unit into one and beat monster. Intro song. http://www.twitpic.com/69nov
Think of anymore. Enjoy the trip down memory-lane.
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EXO-squad! that’s awesome! haha…and the pink ranger was a lot hotter back then! haha
Comment by Andrew — May 30 @ 2:00 pm
The EXO-squad is how I learn they was no Santa Claus in Montana. Sad, sad day…
Comment by Andrew — May 30 @ 2:01 pm
I know. It was a sad sad Christmas. But we got SWEET gifts!
Comment by Josh Burcham — May 30 @ 3:08 pm
That’s what someone said last night at poker. True. True.
Comment by Josh Burcham — May 30 @ 3:09 pm
The pogs and slammers is funny. I was never into them but I did have a slammer with OJ Simpson’s picture on it, like he was behind bars. It said “OJ in the Slammer”. These came out after he was acquitted of murder. Here’s a few things I could think of that would fail (heck they might even fail with you and Andrew).
1. Any joke referring to the Bills losing 4 super bowls in a row.
2. If you owned the original Nintendo, after a while there was a “sweet spot” for the game cartridge to be at, or the game wouldn’t work. And you had to be precise on the sweet spot. Even a millimeter off, and it was “No Zelda, Kid Iccaris, or Tecmo Bowl for you”.
3. No “all you can drink” soda at fast food joints, or any eating place. You had to pace your drink. There were times your food would come and you drink was almost gone. As my mom or dad would say “Tough $hit. The water is free”.
4. Any joke referring to the dominance of the Jordan-era Bulls.
5. Reganomics.
6. VHS versus Beta.
7. Any joke referring to the fact that Eddie Murphy was actually funny at one point in his career(and very crude).
8. That is was only the rich kids that had green machines. The middle class kids had the big wheels with the flat spot in the front wheel. And the poor kids (like me and Kevin) just watched their friends ride these.
9. Any joke referring to regular (read that as leaded) gas for less than $.80/gallon.
….
Oh, I got to get back to work. Thanks Josh, that was fun.
Comment by Steven Caress — June 1 @ 12:44 pm
Those are good. Having to blow into your Nintendo games to get them to work. Kids today would give up and buy another. VHS might even be lost on this current generation, no way they no what beta were or the war that went on between the two! Classic.
Comment by Josh Burcham — June 1 @ 12:53 pm